I landed in New York but I was going to be based in New Jersey. I slept in the car because it was a long ride and I was too tired.
I started school, it was amazing but I was the only African in my class, honestly I didn't really care because there was another dark girl also but I think racists are almost everywhere abroad.
After about 4 months, My aunty I stayed with in New Jersey had a very serious issue and it was time for us to move but i wasnt going to move with them because of their situation. I didn't know anyone there except other aunties who said their houses were full, I'm not really the type that goes to people's house so even if I made any friend I had never been to his/her house. It was horrible. Calling my mum to tell her I didn't know where to go was very disturbing because she thinks a lot. I started regretting going to America in the first place, why didn't I just stay in nigeria? .. I was 16, I couldn't stay alone and I wasn't even 18 yet so I couldn't do many things on my own I had to just keep staying with people and I was in a 2 year college, not like 4 year college that had hostel and all. Let's just say I didn't know much about all that which really affected me.
A Good Samaritan, My big mummy with the biggest heart that didn't even know me from Adam, (MummyK) Mrs Kolawole (the joy in my heart as I write her name can't be over emphasized) & her amazing husband took me in, bought things for me, gave me money and her kids ( 3 girls & 1 boy ) they were all way older than me, they took me like their real cousin, it was amazing, cant explain how she rescued me because its still like a dream. My stay with them was so sweet, LOL the devil visited my heart again and said "why not move to Texas?" .. many warnings but I still did what I wanted to do. MummyK kept on asking if I was okay with it and I said yes! She gave me money and I moved, that's a different story for another day. It was awful, I just wish I stayed back with MummyK.
This is a picture of me and MummyK when i told her i was going home in December 2014. Wura, her second daughter took the picture.
Later, I decided to come back to New Jersey then i had to stay with another amazing set of Mummy & Daddy (Ajayi) I loved them and also I had a permanent roommate, Tosin (LOL the age difference was just one year so we could flow well just that her accent sometimes was too strong and I wouldn't really hear her and her siblings well except her big sister, Wunmi who lived in nigeria half of her life). Her dad was my dads old school mate and then he said I could come stay with them. Their church was amazing, made new friends and most of us were ekiti 😂💃🏾. I didn't tell MummyK and her husband I was moving back to New Jersey but trust me when she found out she wasn't happy. Her side of New Jersey was far from my own side, I went to see her and I spent 3 days with her. She hugged me, we spoke and we went out together a lot in that 3 days even with her busy schedule.
Fast forward to December, I decided I needed a break from all the drama I've had in America, I wanted to come home (nigeria) for holiday.
I was excited, hadn't seen my siblings in a very long time (my mum and dad came around when I was there), it was like my happiest day. Had a stop over in Dubai as usual then we proceeded to nigeria. Made a very nice friend at the New York airport, she was very late so I helped her and then we spoke at the Dubai airport well. (Later I found out she was moving finally to Nigeria and now she's a big model, dunno if she can still remember me).
My siblings didn't know I was coming, I had planned with my mum and dad. When I got home, I just removed my shoes and I walked through the door, my dad was asking my brothers "when is your sister coming sef".. they go, "we don't even know yet but she said December". I just opened the door and they screamed and fell on me. "Sister Damilola ...." too many questions. My dad took a picture of us, very amazing. My sister was in school and I decided to go surprise her. She didn't believe it. She saw me and rannnn, she held me tight and started crying. She changed 🤣my baby was already in SS3. Someone I left in JSS3.
Fast forward to when I was ready to go back to school, my dad said since I didn't get law, he heard they had law in U.K. And I applied, Birmingham and Coventry university gave me admission, we were happy. I also applied to new schools in America. But as God will have it, Dad had issues with his job. Where is the money going to come out from? At this time too, my friend was having school related issues, someone implicated her she was also abroad, her dad had money she applied to the same school I applied to but they didn't give her admission because of whatever happened to her earlier so she had to come home. We were both in similar situations but I had the admission and didn't have the money but she had the Money and didn't have the admission. God is amazing. Yoruba will say "emi tolori Oni fila"
I waited at home from January till September, i was sad and not my self. Many of my friends were acting strange, some stopped talking to me but some stood by me, I didn't like to go out because the next thing would be why are you not in school or how is school and all that, i wanted to go for my sister's secondary school graduation but I couldn't because i could just imagine the questions from my teachers and all that. I couldn't wait again as dads issue wasn't a funny one, my mum begged me to look for somewhere in Africa, she said I'm getting older and I'm a lady. I said never, I've gone abroad I can't come and finish here, that's not gonna happen mummy. It caused a big issues between me and my parents, sometimes my dad wouldn't talk to me because I was being stubborn.
Luckily for them, my grandma who never really knows too much about me called me and spoke to me. She said if I finish I can go abroad for my masters that I should trust my dad. She gave me options and said she heard them from radio stations, she said South Africa has a high crime rate, So I should pick between Ghana, Nigeria And Benin republic. I was broken, I started crying again but I didn't have a choice.
My friend Toyosi, we just became closer then because she was also waiting to get into school, she spoke to me one day and said her school in Benin republic was 3 years that if I can bring my transcript they might cut off a year for me and all that. I went to tell my parents, my mum was so happy I had changed my mind, my dad wasn't really having it because he was concerned about the recognition of the certificate, he wanted Ghana or Nigeria. Ghana, I'd have to start 4 years again because I'd go for law, nigeria, I personally didn't just want it and he wanted it but no.
I went to Benin republic that week, hmm French speaking country. Their way of life is way different from Nigerias. I had to
Just summon courage and do what I had to do because that's the only way I'd get this BsC certificate. We did all the admission stuff and it was time to resume. I didnt tell anyone my whereabout, if i am in school, i wouldnt put on my location, sometimes people would say my no isnt going through, i would tell them its network. I told my very good friends Kehinde, Deborah, Angel and co during my final year. They were surprised, i didnt just tell anyone because i couldnt stand questions but after i graduated the questions started popping up... ''oh you were in school all this while?''... thats another reason i chose to write this.
We had to wear uniform (Gosh, I never took a picture O Lol light blue shirt and a dark blue skirt or trouser) it was funny but no one had a choice. They gave me 2 years and I went for
It. In class, lecturers will look at faces and point, you are a transfer student? Where did you transfer from? I was always scared to talk because people will either think I'm lying or be curious to know what happened and I couldn't just be telling everyone my business. I don't even act it LOL, my class rep found out through my international passport one day and he was surprised, i would go to class with turban and my round skirt, whats my business? do i know anyone there? LOL. I made a about 2/3 friends. (One day I'll come and talk about the way of line of Benin people, watch out. Too funny) ... well, as God will have it, Fast forward to 2017 October, here I am. I graduated :) with that Bsc degree.
(Me & Toyosi on graduation day).
I skipped so many stories that happened in between but I guess this is enough to make people
Understand why I said my 5 years journey in 3 different countries. Honestly everything went by so fast, adapting was so hard, sometimes i would go into the rest room and cry because i didnt want anyone to hear me, my dad is a very careful person so we were never really used to climbing bike and all that (in nigeria), i hardly go out normally so just a few times but in benin, if you dont have a bike yet you arent rich o, the language barrier... Gosh.. Benin life is a story for another day, a bit fun and the other part was just to see the other side of life for me.
It's never too late to make decisions and I'm thankful to God I did it all with him. Dear Masters & LLB law degree, I'm coming for you.
MummyK is still my biggest fan as I speak, she still sends me money and talks to me from time to time. She refused to believe what anyone had to say about me and she just saw my bright and amazing side. A woman like MummyK is extremely rare and I'm thankful I met her.
Thank you for reading. Please share, someone might just be inspired. Even if you were rejected, there's always extra chance for you. God bless you and yours!
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