Hello beautiful people! Someone needs for advice, just one person can make a difference so put yourself in her shoes and tell her what you think or send it to me personally, I'ld get it across to her.
Hmmmmmmm! When I got this I starred for a while because I'm not a relationship expert but I guess people would share how they feel about this.
Below is what was sent to me by a lady yesterday morning.
" So I met the so-close-to-perfect man just a while back. I mean the one that opens doors for you, carries your bag as you take a stroll down the street, puts on your shoes for you, brushes your hair for you; I mean the all round good man. But you know what they say, no one is entirely perfect. Rewind to the wooing days, I clearly told him I am a virgin with no intention of having sexual intercourse anytime soon, preferably till marriage. My man was happy! In his words, "so I'll be the one launching you till forever". Fast forward to a month after, things spiraled down so fast that I'm still in shock. I mean! How can someone go from 100-0 so quick?? Truth be told, he told me of his "sex with only bae" policy, meaning he can't have random sex. But then just a while back he was totally fine with waiting till I'm ready.
Out of nowhere, he said he's tired of waiting. Apparently he has been abstaining for over a year now; he used to live with his ex and they had marriage plans until she cheated on him. Problem now is, I'm not ready. I can NOT put my happiness on hold for another's. I have dreams and as much as I love him, this things have dire consequences. Should I start talking about the unwanted pregnancies or STDs?? If I give in to him now, it will be me desperately trying to keep him and where does that leave me? Especially when he finds love somewhere else. Sex is so deep and spiritual that people don't understand. Once you start, you will find it so hard to stop. And then the connection you both now have that will be so hard to ignore.
The last three weeks has seen him act up and not pick calls, reply texts or even see me. Here's someone that used to freak out if he doesn't hear from me in an hour o! I have begged him to tell me what exactly is wrong and now he has finally come out. He says he's too young to abstain and would rather stay single till he finds someone who's ready to commit fully. Now in my case, I'm not ready to lose him and I'm also not ready to have sex because to be honest, how do you look at someone you love and tell yourself it's time to walk away? After all my sacrifices, I just feel it's unfair to walk away with nothing.
We should also keep in mind that there's nothing worse than feeling bad about something after it's over because you didn't honor your boundaries."
My advice.
Personally, my stand can't be everyone's stand so I don't really know the answer to give but there are few things here.
Keep yourself till you are ready and break up if you aren't comfortable, many other guys would come because I don't think pressure is necessary for sex. What if you do it and he starts acting up later? If you've made up your mind to keep it till marriage then don't break it because you want to make someone happy, surely God would bring your own guy to you.
Make him understand things better and beg him to wait because this thing is also spiritual.. Having sex with someone there's a bond you people share and he doesn't want to be fighting battles after forcing you to do it because he would regret it. Why have sex when you can't even enjoy it? This thing is so deep that it has to come from your mind not because someone wants you to do it....
It's either you give it to him, put his happiness over yours and cry for the rest of the month if you didn't do it from your mind... because he sounds like he's interested in your body....
Follow your mind and don't do anything out of pressure. This is very important to me, how would I do something because it would make someone happy and I wouldn't be happy? No pls, if you aren't ready don't do it, let anything happen .
I believe you know what to do but you just want to be sure, follow your mind!
Pls share your opinion..
Hmmm,pls don't let anyone put u under pressure,u made that decision for a reason,if he love you, he will wait...yes I know it's easier said than done,but my dear if u must do it, make sure it something u want and a decision u can leave with....so you won't regret at the end.....don't be pressurize pleaseeee.
ReplyDeleteLove is patient. ..there's more to relationship than sex let him wait for u if he really loves you
ReplyDeletePlease,abeg. Just leave this guy. I know it sounds easier than what it will be. But by not doing right by your heart and soul and the temple of which your body is you are offending God. Would u rather offend man (your bf) or the creator and our father God? Don't feel bad about being a Christian. Trials will come. God is preparing you for a better man who he created just for you. Which was not this boy.
ReplyDeleteOkay first of all I would start by commending your courage to even come out and ask for advice, it shows that you are a woman with dignity and self respect. Honestly I feel like you should at least pray about it first ask God to have his way and seek his will concerning the relationship . But mind you its not easy to not give into what someone you love is asking you for, it takes grace, but nevertheless please take your stand don't have sex with him just to keep him because you will find yourself in a position where you are always compromising something just to keep him. Also you can keep a little distance from him if you feel like you will give in, but most importantly never allow yourself to sin against God just to keep a man happy. May God strengthen you
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