Pressure !!

This is MaritalPressure!

I have noticed that 40% of people that read my blog are my mums friends because I get their feedbacks, infact one of them said in the previous "thank you" post I didn't say "Eshe" lol, eshe gan ni o ma.

I have always wanted to talk about this one day but am happy it's becoming a reality now.  

The kind of pressure female kids "of age"(26 and above)  in our african word, get to get married is very bad, I heard it has started happening to guys sef lol.

The thing about parents is that God gave us to them to guide us seriously not to change our minds 100% about our decisions, we have our own lives, my name is Oluwadamilola, my mums name is Olamide she gave birth to me but we are two different people, what I like isn't what She likes and what I want isn't what she wants and vice versa so like that. It's a very bad thing to rush into marriage and of course I would share a story. 

Mothers especially should just keep advising and praying for their daughters, if they have someone they are dating, fine let's pray it works out but if they don't have, mothers are meant to understand the fact that ladies don't create husband, they would come at the right time, with prayer and patience and working towards it, there's no how someone wouldn't get married because it's a thing of joy.

So I heard of this lady and her friend,they were "of age", one of them was dating one uncle as at then, when her mum saw him, she started AH, oti ri oko( you've found husband) she forced this lady to quickly marry, she married and gave birth but after 3 years when she gave birth to her second child, the man died. You know we human beings, we wouldn't see it as our mother was trying to help o we would now blame it on her that yes she forced me and see it and that's why forcing someone isn't good. One thing I love about my mum is she allows you say your mind and she reasons with you at a point. Hearing and understanding the point of view of the person involved does a lot about the issue going on.

So the other friend of course her mum kept on talking about her getting married but it got to a point that she understood that this thing is a mind thing, it's not something you can create/rush, and she' saying she hasn't found means she has a reason why she's not married of course she wouldn't marry herself  she married 10 years after that was 36 God finally answered her prayers, she married and gave birth immediately and her husband is still alive and they live happily.

Also parents compare, "see omo LAGBAJA Ti marry 5 years ago, you are here looking at instagram and watching dstv, I pity you, don't go to your husbands house". They just say several things that even result to rush into marriage and then the child rushes in and rushes back out because mentally she wasn't even ready for it. Somepeople marry very early, it's destiny, you can't change it but some are just destined to marry and give birth late, it's still destiny, it doesn't make them any less of a person. Some people they date someone for 10 years and marry while some they date for even 1 year and they marry and it would work out so people are just different, using someone's point of view to judge your own issue would only affect you. 

I also heard of another Aunty she got married normally, no pressure and she was around 26/27 can't remember, she married and she didn't give birth and her junior sister married about 5/6 years after and that one gave birth immediately meanwhile this her senior sister has been looking for pregnancy. And in Africa after marriage they just believe pregnancy is the next, enjoying your husband or working seriously to make ends meet for a year isn't in their dictionary. She gave birth after 9 years or so, after her junior sister had given birth to all her own kids so at times marrying early has its advantages and disadvantages.

Once we hear she's almost 30 or she's 30+ AH, african mothers go " so why haven't you married" if they don't ask you one on one they would ask in their mind. Me I haven't gotten to the age of marriage yet but I have big sisters I hear and see from, the pressure at times even affects them. Even me that am still in university if my parents are talking to me they just talk about my husbands house straight like am getting married tomorrow lol. No one should be humiliated because she hasn't married, it's not a good thing, somepeople even use to cry because of the kind of insults they get from why they haven't gotten married.  Taking it easy and praying for them would open awesome doors, than pressurizing and insulting. 

And also to all the ladies going through this husband issue, Even diamond has to pass through fire and it still doesn't lose its value.... Stay calm this too shall pass and you will turn out so good ! May God bring your husband your way very soon also to those looking for kids, may you rejoice very soon too!

️AMEN! With love! #DamStar ❤️